Cupid, Please Think Before You Draw Back Your Bow

I try not to hate on Valentine's Day, honest.

I don't want to be a bitter jerk about the holiday since, well, love is a grand and splendid thing. And I do like the concept of showing those you love that you care. These are valid things. Plus the candy is always fun. You can't go wrong with candy... Well, for the most part.

My main problem with this day is that I've never had anybody on Valentine's Day. It's not like it's a terrible thing, but there's certain moods I can get in where I'm like, "Oh man, this would've been fun if I was with somebody." 

As a youngster, it wasn't that big of a deal. After all, you were guaranteed a valentine from everybody in your class. Man, I used to love giving out valentines to everybody. Those puppy or Mickey Mouse-themed ones were awesome. I debated giving out Nintendo-related ones last year, but decided against it.

Until around fifth grade, Valentine's Day was great. You got awesome cards, candy and you took a good chunk of time out of schoolwork to do so. Most of the time, everybody got at least five or six, since nobody was ever selective about their valentines. 

Once middle school hit, the valentines became lesser and lesser. You begin to realize where you stand socially this way. I ended up getting only two on Valentine's Day in seventh grade.

Then again, guys don’t normally pass them around after the sixth grade for reasons of overcompensating for their masculinity. The only money and time they'd spend on Valentine's is that one lady they have their eye on. And girls usually started to get selective with who they give theirs out to. Totally fine, but it kind of sucked when you would see everybody being all awesome with each other and then looking at your sad two valentines. A little easier to shrug off. 

In high school, it was all about who liked who and who got the most flowers. They'd do anonymous people buying flowers for others. I never did this, since I found it kind of corny. Well, I once did get one for myself, but that was because my friend, who was running it, would not shut the hell up, so I just decided to do it just to get her off my case.

This was pretty much where the anti-Valentine's Day sentiment came to fruition. I was bitter and angry because I didn't happen to have anybody since most people only saw me as just a friend, which was cool too. However, I did always get mad whenever one of my friends would give flowers to ALL the boys. It was kind of weird. 

And now I’m into college and adulthood, where Valentine's Day is just yet another reminder that I am, as the meme says, forever alone. This is the day I get all cranky and bitter as I see all the happy couples on Facebook talking about what their husband / wife / girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancé / fiancée or whatever else did for them. I'd just be sitting there with a look on my face that I can't describe better than "This is so damn stupid," even though I should be thinking more along the lines of, "Well that's sweet of them." 

The worst Valentine's Day I ever had was in 2007. There was an ice storm and a bunch of friends of mine that I did karaoke with were still going. My roommate and her new boyfriend were amongst the group. So we all headed off.

First off, my car was iced shut, so I couldn't have even taken my own car. Secondly, I was thinking of skipping that week, but my roommate insisted that it was going to be fine and that I probably wouldn't be the only single one there. Soon as I got there, however, I knew exactly how the night was going to ensue. 

I was the only single one there. 

Everybody was paired off like Noah's Ark. Half of the songs sung were them serenading their significant other. I sat off in the corner between songs with a pile of buffalo wings (which is my comfort food) and wishing for it to be midnight already. It was a terrible experience. I have no idea why I even agreed to going.

Some of the couples were really chill and actually realized how I was alone, and pretty much chatted with me every so often. Others, well, they pretty much all over each other like drunken prom dates. That was the day I learned that I should never go out with any couples on Valentine's Day or else I will find myself having a miserable time. 

I think some of the reason why I am not too happy about this holiday is because it's just pretty much the worst day for any single gal and some single guys. It's just another reminder that you are alone and you begin to feel especially grumpy around that time.

Unless if, like our editor, your birthday falls on that day. Then it's a fun day. (Editor’s note: This is absolutely true.) But for me, it's just a crappy time.

Some of it is pretty much that some people like to make it an excuse to be cold toward their loved one until one fantastic day. Why not show them affection on any given day? Why set a day? Just be like, "Okay, today is July 2 – How about we buy a big awesome teddy bear?! "

Something about just designating one day makes it kind of lazy. I enjoy being lazy for some things, but if I like someone, I don't want to be lazy for them! I want to be spontaneous and fantastically fun. 

However, if I was to do anything about Valentine's Day, I would pretty much follow the most romantic man ever put on this planet – Delonte West. (Note: I'm joking, but you have to admit this article is 100 times funnier because of the rumors about him and Lebron James’ mom when he was in Cleveland, right?)

Well, at least this Valentine's Day isn't going to be me being a bitter jerk. I'll be working, and then spending half the night on my Nintendo Wii playing Rhythm Heaven Fever. It will be a day full of wrestlers, monkeys, library cheerleaders and pigs in spinning chairs among others. And it will be fantastic.

Hopefully the rest of you will also have fantastic Valentine's Days, whether you’re single, married, dating someone, or somewhere in between. 

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