5 THINGS: Just Friday! Check Back For More!

As opposed to past weeks, we’re going to split Friday and the weekend into separate Five Things. (This will allow me to insert more pithy remarks.)

Here are the (more than) Five Things for Friday, March 16, 2012:

AWWWWW! Matunuck Elementary School is hosting its annual “My Girl” dance tonight, from 6 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. It’s a girls-only event, and of course, they get to invite the dad, granddad, uncle or 18+ date of their choice. For more information, click . (Also, if you’d like to submit your photos to us of the event, feel free to send them to Stephen.greenwell@patch.com.)

Need help with addiction? Reformers Unanimous, a Christ-based addictions program, will meet at 7 p.m. at . For more information, click . The group meets every Friday.

What a fantastic name! The Radiance Woodwind Quintet will be giving free Master lessons at the University of Rhode Island’s Fine Arts Center today. Have a flute, oboe, clarinet, bassoon or horn? Then get down there for 3 p.m. For more info, click .

Way cooler than Speed Racer. The anime and magna club will hold a meeting at 3:30 p.m. at the . For more info, click . Students in grades 7 and up are welcome, and there will be the watching and drawing of anime, along with other fun times. Also, the club is free, which is always a plus.

Express your opinion, even if others have absolutely no interest in reading it! Can I interest you in , perhaps? (Note: I did not write that story, which is why it is not full of snide, snarky comments.)

Well, that’s kind of OK, except that they made that horrible movie. According to Wikipedia, which is never wrong, on this day in 37, Caligula became the third emperor of the Roman Empire. Of course, nowadays, he might be most famous for one of the trashiest movies of all-time. Roger Ebert had a pretty legendary takedown of it (WARNING: some strong language in that link), and it’s noteworthy as one of the two movies he has ever walked out on. From his opening paragraph:

Caligula is sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash. If it is not the worst film I have ever seen, that makes it all the more shameful: People with talent allowed themselves to participate in this travesty.

… But at least there’s still Van Halen. And after that happy note on Caligula, let’s wish a happy 21st birthday to Wolfgang Van Halen. He can wail as much as his dad, which is awesome, because Van Halen is awesome.

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