A Housewife’s Guide To The Law of Attraction

I’ll never forget how I first learned about ‘The Law of Attraction.’

It had nothing to do with my wearing Jean Nate after bath splash and landing a date with the cute guy who drove the Del’s Lemonade truck through our neighborhood when I was 17 and could actually work a pair of Daisy Duke hot pants. 

No — this was another life defining moment for this gal, and I have Ellen DeGeneres to thank for it.

It was the fall of 2007, and our youngest was about to turn 2.  She was teething, cranky, couldn’t get comfortable — did I mention she was absolutely miserable?  I decided to sit and cuddle with her after I had loaded her up with children’s Motrin, so we plopped ourselves on the couch and I started flipping the remote to find something decent to watch.

I rarely watch The Ellen Show, not because I don’t enjoy her (I do!), but it airs when one of the three yellow busses stop in front of our house to drop one of my eight cherubs off after their LONG day at school.  Since the Butler family still hasn’t entered the world of DVR / Tivo, if we miss it, we don’t see it.

I saw Ellen nodding, flailing her arms and looking totally mesmerized by what her two guests were talking about.  Without hesitation I tuned in, cranked up the volume and watched as Bob Proctor and John Assaraf explained what the ‘Law of Attraction’ was and why they thought The Secret was becoming such a phenomenon amongst many hopeful Americans across the country.

If you haven’t heard of The Secret or the hundreds of takeoffs of this very interesting video, it all boils down to practicing ‘The Law of Attraction,’ which in essence is the belief that we attract things into our lives based on our thoughts, feelings and actions. 

There are eons of information available about how to attract all that you want into your life, but I wasn’t looking to attract yachts, furs and European vacations.  The things I wanted to attract where far simpler, say family members putting the toilet seat down after use, so I was more than willing to give this attraction theory a try.

The first pre-requisite for attracting all that your heart and bank account desires is to line up with your energy.  In other words, you can’t just look out to the Universe and just shout out that you are deserving of a svelte size-4 body, a personal chef, and kids that will always obey, clean their rooms and enjoy any vegetable you put on their plate.  

No — you must be able to VISUALIZE and FEEL that these things have already happened so that you can experience the excitement of how your life will actually be when these things finally do appear.

It sounded easy enough, so I gave it a try and tried to manifest the following:

• A clean, organized house (both up and downstairs at the same time) including toilet paper rolls always being replaced, no empty boxes of food left in the pantry, and on occasion someone other than myself to pick up an item that does not belong in a particular room and actually bring it to its proper place.

• A week, okay, a day would be fine, of my children not nagging, whining or bickering with one another.

• The ability to open my minivan doors without empty bottles of Gatorade, extra cleats, and loose Walmart bags tumbling out when one of my kids steps out on to their practice field.

• Finding a wardrobe in my closet that reflects a savvy, fashion diva, not a breeding ground for mom jeans in every color.

• The ability to apply eye shadow correctly without scaring my family.

• Being able to say “no” every once in a while.

• The courage to tell all peoples everywhere that it’s nothing personal, but I don’t attend home parties regardless of how much Pinot you are going to be serving.

So, how did I do?

Not so well actually. Clearly I have a few unrealistic expectations in thinking that in a house with six males all the toilet seats will actually be put down after use, but I did actually figure out that even if many of the objects of my desire don’t manifest physically it truly doesn’t matter.

When you focus on negative, you get negative.  When you get inside your happy place, and focus on the good—you definitely get more of that back.  I don’t know if you can call this the law of attraction, but it’s working for this housewife, so if I never get that eye shadow down pat, I hope to have fun at least trying.

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