With the 2011-12 school year about to start, this week’s Parents Council discussion was inspired by the following, very timely post we’ve seen going around Facebook:

“Special request to all you kids returning to school in the next few days: If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because he/she doesn't have many friends or because they are shy or not as pretty or not dressed in the most "in" clothes -- PLEASE step up. Say hi or smile at them in the hallway. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone's life! Deserves 2B Reposted”

This is a simple and great message for kids, parents and frankly, everyone to heed. Sometimes we are all too quick to judge someone based on how they look, what they wear, how they talk or who they hang with. But if you think about it, our initial perceptions are really just an external snap shot of that individual’s life and their representation of what they might be experiencing at that moment in time.

Back in March of this year, the Parents Council discussed bullying and what our role as parents might be in solving this increasingly pervasive school based issue these days. We quoted research, talked about interventions, suggested task forces and even how our kids might be modeling our own seemingly harmful behaviors. But the Facebook message really brought things back to basics and simplified the issue for us by almost equating positive behavior to something like preventive medicine.

You know - an apple a day keeps the doctor away or in this case, a smile a day may just keep the bullies away. Now we know that simply by going around with a smile plastered across your kid’s face isn’t going to magically make their or their peer’s problems go away. But, since humans tend to be reactive by nature, if you do something nice for a stranger or just smile and say good morning to someone, they tend to smile back. We all know, what goes around comes around so maybe, just maybe someone will also do the same for you or someone else someday.

So, besides telling our kids to treat people the way they would like to be treated, perhaps we challenge them to do at least one act of kindness each day that will not only help someone else feel better but perhaps make our kids feel better about themselves too. Perhaps work it into the daily after school or dinner conversation. Besides asking “What did you learn in school today?” add “Did you make someone happy or help someone that couldn’t help themselves?” When they report back on something positive applaud and praise them for it.

When they see and hear you looking happy about something they did they are more likely to do it again. This will go a long way to build their confidence and self-esteem as well. The schools are trying to do a good job with implementing anti-bullying policies like the School-Wide Positive Behavioral Interventions (PBIS) program but it still needs to start in the home with us, the parents. It isn’t easy with so many outside influences bombarding our children’s eyes, ears and brains, but by keeping things simple and reinforcing the basics of what it means to truly respect yourself and others around you, it can go a long way to counter some of the other less than positive behaviors that seem to get glorified by today’s media targeting kids.

So remember kids (moms and dads too), that you just might want to put yourself in those  not so stylish shoes of the person you see being picked on and instead of walking by or worse yet, watching, try to step in and say something like “hey, leave him alone” or “want to join us at this table for lunch?” You might have just made a new friend, stopped a fight and in some cases, maybe even saved a life.

Tell us what you think. Did or will you post a similar message to your Facebook wall? Do you go out of your way to share a smile with a passing stranger or just look away and pass? Can you name one; two or even three simple things you did today that made someone feel good about themselves? Share your comments below or send them anonymously to skmomscouncil@gmail.com. Oh and don’t forget, let us know if there is something YOU want us to talk about. We are always open to suggestions and want to answer those pressing parenting questions or dilemmas that are on your minds.