I may not be a leading expert on all things related to the matters of the heart. I'm the first to tell you that I'm a D-student in that course. I oversleep and miss all the important memos so that when the exam comes along, I end up either failing miserably or just doing good enough to get a passing grade which constitutes as being just friends.
So maybe I am just not understanding the whole appeal of the "bad boy / loner / brooding / troubled boy / rebel" as a result of this.
It's probably the oldest trope in the book. We've seen it in all forms of media time and time again from Romeo and Juliet to Pride and Prejudice to The Sheik to Rebel Without a Cause to (shudders) Twilight.
We see the dark brooding mysterious man always win out for the woman's heart. It doesn't matter if they're a terrible person or not, they're troubled and cute so it's totally okay. It can be done well, but more often than not, it leaves me infuriated.
The girls always seem to end up with the bad boy who doesn't play by anybody's rules and honestly, I am sick of that trope. I'm sick of everything I watch or see while out and about is the same old story of the jerk getting the girl. It's like trying to portray to the public that THAT is the type of guy that we should want to be with. No matter how borderline abusive (physically or emotionally) it may be, that's the ideal. That's what women want.
Well count me as one woman who does NOT like that.
Love is very subjective to everybody, regardless of gender or preferences. For me, I prefer the nice guys. I like the guys who are goofy, smart without being pretentious, kind and practical enough to not put you on a perpetual pedestal (try saying that three times fast). They wouldn't want to hurt you intentionally and they would give you the time of day whenever you need it, within reason. So I ask the other girls out there, what about the nice guys? Why not give them a shot?
Now by nice guys I don't mean the "Nice Guys," which is a type that I put along with the jerk category. The "Nice Guy" is someone who acts like they're nice to you but they're just as bad as the others, if not worse. The passive-aggressive attitude that you owe them love because they are nice to you. They're not anything but nice to you and they act like petulant children just because you don't feel the same way.
And yes, girls can fall into this category towards guys, but it's not too often (I'll admit that high school me could've qualified for the "Nice Girl" category in some situations) but the self-pity party that these "Nice Guys" throw are overwhelmingly bothersome.
I really wish that legitimately nice guys would be noticed more often. See them appreciated for being awesome and not being looked over just because they aren't dangerous or brooding. So what if they don't act like that? I'd prefer the nice practical guy any day of the week. However, if you decide to throw them off to the side, I suppose I shouldn't complain. That means more for me to choose from, right? Well, actually, love isn't that easy since feelings always get in the way.
When I was in high school, I always ended up an unwilling eavesdropper towards a lot of conversations of my fellow classmates. I'd have my head down, doodling or writing something unrelated, and people would assume that I was just in my own little world. Usually, I was, but not always. I could hear a lot of the gossip of those classmates of mine. Most of them were pretty stupid and began with either "Did you hear about X and Y?" or "Oh man, I was so wasted last weekend..." Other times, it was usually someone whining about their boyfriend or girlfriend treating them like crap and when asked by the other party why they wouldn't dump their ass, they'd just say "But I love him" which always blew my mind at the sheer ridiculousness of the argument.
Here you have a girl whose probably rather smart about all other things, but yet finds herself wrapped up with some guy who doesn't even care about her. He's just with her because....well who knows why. Yet, they're too blind to notice that it's not a good idea to be with them. Meanwhile, there's probably some nice guy out there whose wondering why it always seems that the girl will rather take her chances with the jerk than him. It may seem like the norm for most girls to want to go after the brooding type, but not me.
I think the deal is that sometimes, people confuse a nice guy for being someone who'll be way too sensitive or put them on a consistent pedestal. As nice as it is to be lavished endlessly with love poems and candy and hearts (or Red Sox/video game paraphernalia if you're me), nobody wants to stay up there. Ego can develop and you may start to think you could get away with anything. A nice guy is someone who can rein you in without being a jerk about it. Well at least not being a complete jerks since there may be jerky measures that must be taken in some cases.
So why do I like the nice guys? I like them because, well first off, I love goofballs. I like guys who don't take themselves way too seriously. They understand the silliness of life around them and is able to poke fun at themselves. I also like them because I like it when someone actually thinks of me as an equal. I don't like being treated as a second class citizen and I don't like being put on a pedestal all the time. I need to be on equal footing, be thought of as an equal. I also want to think of them as an equal. After all, love is mostly a friendship that's gone super deep and crossed over into the romantic zone. On top of all of that, I like nice guys because they care about what you have to say. They care about what you want out of life and they will work with you towards whatever goal. Keep in mind, I'm not playing with gender stereotypes here since that's not fair. Maybe not every nice guy is like that, but hey, let me have my dreams, okay?
Of course, all of this talk about nice guys and bad boys is merely my opinion. My opinion is not one that can be taken all that seriously since I merely the Alex Cora of Love (or, for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm like a utility infielder whose merely a role player for those who want to get their love games won...I lay the sac bunts and make the nifty plays when needed). Extremely nerdy comparison aside, I think the point is basically that I'm really bad at love and relationships since my experience has been limited. Someday, I'll have more experience but until then, this is how my opinion will likely stand.
So here's to the nice guys! You have at least one fan over here!
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