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Schools

Helping Your Child Make Friends

To a preschooler, a "friend" is anyone who is willing to play the way they want to play during any given period of time.

To a preschooler, a “friend” is anyone who is willing to play the way they want to play during any given period of time. Friends are just as likely to be boys as girls and may change frequently. Playing with friends is an important way for children to learn social skills including sharing and taking turns so providing your child the opportunity to make friends is helpful, worthwhile and fun!

Dale Walker, a professor of child development at the University of Kansas, offers these guidelines to promote productive and enjoyable playdates.

  1. Limit the initial invitation to one or two friends at your home.
  2. Schedule the playdate for one to two hours to avoid overstimulating the children.
  3. Plan games and activities your child enjoys and provide enough materials so the children don’t have to share immediately.
  4. Guide the children as they make a craft, play a game or splash in a wading pool rather than letting them manage themselves.
  5. Schedule playdates with the same children on a weekly basis.
  6. Periodically play one-on-one with your child to develop familiarity with their playing style and stimulate their social interaction.
  7. If your child is struggling socially with their peers consider adopting a pet, which is usually nonthreatening.
  8. Reading books and watching shows about friendship also reinforces the positive aspects of socialization.
  9. Model friendship by inviting friends to meet, especially when your friends have children compatible with your own.
  10. Limit your expectations and pressure to prevent your child developing insecurity about developing friends.

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