Going Through 'The Change'

Well, I’m almost 48 and it’s finally starting to happen.  They said it would, and because I didn’t become a mother until the ripe age of 30 while most of my closest friends were already sending their kids off to high school, I didn’t believe them.  It just seemed so far away for me. 

Seeing that our last child flew the coop to all-day Kindergarten this year, I knew there would be certain changes that would come my way, but I kind of assumed that I wouldn't be paying attention to this until much later in life. It’s not like we’re totally empty nesters yet and I have all day to take care of this type of thing.

My husband, on the other hand, is not sure quite what to make of all this. After all, he’s used to getting me as a cold leftover that’s been sitting beside the sink until the dog finds a way to leap up and grab what’s still hanging from the plate. 

Truth be told, I actually feel sorry for him.  He seems so puzzled by what's happening that I fear it's almost too much for him.

Well, there’s no point in keeping it a secret any longer.  Yep, I’m going through the change — now that the kids are getting older, I’m trying to get back to basics and live up to my marriage vows by following the “Good Wife’s Guide” to pleasing her man.  (Pardon me, did you think I was referring to hot flashes?!!!)

Believe it or not, Good Housekeeping published an article in 1955 to assist women who were trying to find every way possible to please their man, who at point was always the breadwinner of the family.

With a few more hours on my hands each week, I felt I owed it to my life’s partner to recreate the important ideas stressed in that article so I carefully noted the dutiful suggestions.

Here’s a sampling of yesterday’s wife, and more realistically, today’s wife:

The Good Wife of 1955: Have dinner ready and on the table when your husband pulls into the driveway. By planning ahead every night of the week while he’s punching the time clock you can be sure to have a hot, delicious meal consisting of ingredients that are not scraped from a can, thereby showing him that you’ve been thinking of him all day and are concerned about his needs.

The Real Wife of 2012: Make sure the pizza delivery boy is pulling in the driveway when YOU return from work and picking up the kids from practice, stopping at the vet’s office to finally get Rover’s heartworm meds, making a mad dash to the pharmacy for TP and tomorrow’s lunch snacks.  Hopefully, there will be a slice or two leftover when your spouse enters the mudroom.

The Good Wife of 1955: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives home.  This includes touching up your make-up, putting a ribbon in your hair, and changing your apron if it is stained. You’ll want him to notice what he’s been missing all day long while he’s out there in the workforce.

The Real Wife of 2012: Take 15 seconds to go to the bathroom, alone if possible. It’s never a good idea to have your mate seeing you look that uncomfortable after he’s been gone for eight or so hours — this will instantly put a look of relaxation on your face. If you’re so inclined, change out of your work clothes — pajamas — and put on some comfy sweatpants.

The Good Wife of 1955: Prepare the children for dad’s arrival home. Take whatever time necessary to wash their darling faces, hands and comb their unruly hair. If necessary, change their clothes so they are presentable for dinner. Minimize all noise — your children, the vacuum, the washer and dryer — anything that might interfere with a serene and welcoming greeting.

The Real Wife of 2012: Bwaaaaaa!  I mean, no comment!

The Good Wife of 1955: Make the evening all about him! Listen if he wants to talk about his day. Don’t complain about the long line at the deli counter and how the new clerk didn’t slice your Land-O-Lakes thin the way he likes it for his olive loaf and cheese sandwich.  Make him comfortable in any way possible — slippers, bathrobe, a plump pillow for his back while he reads the evening paper in his Barco Recliner. You’re his biggest fan — make sure he knows it every single day!

The Real Wife of 2012: You mean it’s not all about me?

In closing, Good Housekeeping of 1955 reminds us that a good wife knows her place in both the home and as a dutiful spouse.  If she is able to perform her wifely duties in a caring, respectful, non-judgmental way, she will reap the rewards of knowing her mission to please others is all that matters.

Kudos to the housewives of 1955 for treating their husbands like kings and making sure the homestead was humming peacefully at all waking hours because they were always home seeing to all these details.  But kudos to the couples of 2012 who treat one another this way instead of it being one-sided — that’s “the change” I’m glad I’m going through!

Want to be e-mailed when Cheryl has a new colum? Click the “keep me posted” button below!