Finding Your Happy Place

One of my fondest memories in high school was a fact I learned in Health class.  No it had nothing to do with body hair (eek!) or the delicate issue of how our bodies store gas—it was far more important.  In between learning the benefit of eating the food pyramid and the importance of using deodorant once we reached the pungent age of 16, we learned how many muscles it required to frown versus smile. (Only in America)

As I recalled, it took more muscles to frown than to smile, but several years after I graduated from college, I learned I was sadly mistaken.  According to Dr. David Song of the University of Chicago Medical Center who recently did a study on the topic, the average frown requires 11 muscles while an average smile requires 12.   OK, so my health teacher was only off by 1 muscle; no big deal.  The reason that whole lesson still stands out in my mind is that I couldn’t believe someone actually took the time to scientifically measure such a thing!  As a naïve and spunky 17-year old, I couldn’t fathom why anyone would waste their energy frowning when they could curl their lips upward and share a glorious smile.

Yes, a bit Pollyanna of me I know, but just knowing that only one muscle separated joy from misery caught my attention when I was a carefree teenager and now, as I prepare to embrace the young, hip age of 49, I feel as though this fact I learned those many (many) years ago deserves to be revisited.

The reason I’m going there again is due to a lively discussion my friends and I recently had about whether or not having a “Happy Place” to visit when things were tough was really possible or was it a bunch of bologna? 

I’m not referring to an actual place like the local bar (well, a good glass of Chardonnay never hurts either) or a massage parlor, I mean that mental state achieved when one wants to avoid something unpleasant or uncomfortable.   Everyone's Happy Place is different, and usually consists of the things that make them joyous.  I took a look back at all the Happy Places I have created over the years and my, have they changed over time.

As a Teenager my Happy Place was definitely the beach.  I’m talking a scorching hot day, my favorite tunes blasting from my transistor radio, the aroma of baby oil wafting through the salty air, and of course giggling with my best girlfriends as we discussed every boy in our class and who we thought would not embarrass us as a prom date!

As a Newlywed my Happy Place was a 5-Star Restaurant—basically any place that served food minus a drive-thru!  After working a 12-hour day in the dental practice that I adored to be a part of, I just wasn’t used to commuting an all encompassing ½ hour trip home (only in RI!) to greet a hungry cocker spaniel and new husband.  As I made that grand drive through South County to Warwick, I would focus on one of the many fine dining experiences I had pre-married life and always found this to be a great escape when I found myself struggling to cook meals that didn’t turn brown.

As a New Mother my Happy Place was a cozy, peaceful bed and breakfast that I had visited in my college days. (No surprise here!)  The room I stayed in had luxurious bedding, fresh, fragrant flowers, tranquil water color fabrics, sumptuous chenille throws, overstuffed pillows, and there were always fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.  Ah, it was sheer heaven, and I believe I took naps whenever I wanted to and got well over 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep there as well!

As a Mother of Eight kids, Six now Teens my Happy Place is a white, rubber padded room!  (Yes, that would be my sense of humor shining through)  In truth, I often revisit one of the happiest places on earth—Disney World!  Our family has been fortunate to vacation there nearly 15 times, so when I’m really feeling the stress of a new driver in the family or crunch time before a senior project is due, I head to the picturesque veranda outside of Cinderella’s castle and sit quietly on a quaint bench overlooking a waterfall and I take deep, slow breaths.

And now, as a Middle Aged Woman who still has a lot of life to live, my Happy Place is inside of an exhilarating and dreamy book.  As a writer and an avid book lover, I am easily inspired by words that allow me to think, dream, trust, and use my imagination.

So yes, I do think if we need to escape from the stresses of life visiting our own, unique Happy Places are indeed possible, especially because we all have the power to create these destinations any time we like—the choice of where and when is all ours.  And getting back to that lesson in Health class, it may take more muscle power to smile rather than frown, but I’m happy I can exercise that option as well.